Ah me. I have a little writer’s blog. I mean block. And I’m not exactly a little writer. It’s not as if I’m a big writer, I mean I’m an inconsequential writer. I have a following (thank you! I am so excited to see you every day!) but a big writer would have books, and an agent, and the face (footnote: the face is the face you have for the back of your book. If you’re Sebastian Faulks you not only have a face, you have a pose. I once saw S Faulkes in a Waterstones walking down the stairs and behind him was his publicity picture. To my delight, he was not only wearing the same jeans/jacket combo, he even had his hand in his front pocket just like his photo. Note to self: check if S Faulks has paralysed hand). No, I’m not a big writer: I just like to write but as it happens, I have big feet.
So my writer’s blog is a worry. Perhaps I’ve said all there is to say? But today in WordPress (just checking my stats – hi there Russian Federation and Afghanistan. Hope you got the Great British Bake Off references) I stumbled across a challenge – Zero to Hero
This means that I have to blog every day on a subject that they choose. I’m hoping very much that it will give me the impetus I need to get back to writing something. I started my blog as a challenge, and then I just ran out of juice, so here’s hoping they’ll give me good juice (footnote: with bits would be my preference). Fingers crossed they aren’t going to make me write about my favourite ghost, the day I found out I was Joan Rivers’ and Burt Reynolds love child, or what it’s like to be a personal trainer/nutritionist. Ideally they will ask me to blog on subjects about which I am an expert: big feet, for example.
Today this is what they suggest I tackle:
Why are you blogging, rather than keeping a personal journal?
Yes. An excellent question. What they mean is, why on earth are you blogging rather than keeping it to yourself, you gobby, indiscreet cow. It’s a fair point. If you’ve read my blog so far, you’ll know that I’ve over-shared the downfall of my marriage and more than once my son has done the shaking of his head and tutting thing.
What topics do you think you’ll write about?
Big feet. Er. I honestly have run out of ideas and that’s why you’re here WordPress. You are my muse. My amuse bouche. The appetiser that gets me excited before the main course
Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
Well. I’ve given this a great deal of thought. Anyone in Greenland would be a great start. My stats suggest I have failed to penetrate this magnificent land mass. Once I have cracked Greenland, ideally, a literary agent. Or anyone mildly famous who would like to retweet me. Failing all of that, a single man with a great fortune.
If you blog successfully throughout 2014, what would you hope to have accomplished?
I’d like to think that the boil that is my blog has been lanced
So bear with me. I have no idea what’s coming next – but I have to write every single day. Gosh, you’re probably already doing that shaking and tutting thing.